I recently added to my repertoire of ceremonies a Key Ceremony. This can be read by the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom, or by the two mothers sharing the readings,
or by the wedding officiant. One actual key is given to the couple after each section is read.
The Key to love is Intention: We remind ourselves each morning that this is a new day, and we set our priorities and renew our intention to the giving and acceptance of love. Without that decision and commitment each day, we are pulled in many directions and we may abandon the
key not only to love, but also to happiness.
The key to love is Forgiveness: We are meaning-makers, and how we see each other is through the filter of tour own thoughts and beliefs. We make interpretations of what someone has said or done, and it is the meaning that we make of it that causes us pain, not the other person’s words or actions.. Forgiveness is being willing to look at our interpretations and change them so that love is restored.
The key to love is removing the blocks to love. Most people fear love as much as they desire love. Offer up the fear to God, and ask to be open to give and receive all the love there is in the universe. Be the first to offer love, trusting the law of the universe that whatever we give, we also receive. Be kind, be appreciative, be loving, because love is the remedy for fear.
The key to love is respect. Remember that you don’t belong to each other. You belong with each other. Respect each others’ freedom, and support each others’ goals
The Key to love is communication: Sharing with each other what makes you feel loved. Is it receiving gifts? Is it spending time together? Is it hearing loving words? Is it physical touch?
Share with each other how you know you are loved, and give that to each other.
The keys to love are within us. We were created in love and love is there inside us. Don/t hold it back! Give it! Keep it flowing. It’s a continual learning process. The effort is well worth it.
The Family Medallion Ceremony – to be used for blended families:
Minister: Often we think of a wedding as the union of two people. In reality, it is much broader. ________ and _______ recognize that it is always a coming together of families. To celebrate this broader union, they have chosen to present a medallion to ___________ and _________ as a symbol of their love. This medallion (or whatever symbol you choose) is a reminder of both parents’ undying love.
Groom to Bride: I have pledged my love to you and promised to be a faithful husband. Now I make another, different kind of vow to _______ and _________. I promise to be patient and loving with you. I promise to love and protect you, to encourage and support you until the end of our days. Here is a symbol of my promise to you. (Presents medallion to each child).
Bride to Child/Children:
I have a special promise to make to each of you. I promise to be patient and always to love you. I will try to make you laugh and hold you when you’re scared or hurt. I promise to listen to you when you share your problems and challenges with me.
Here is a symbol of my promise to each of you.
Medallions may be purchased from this website: www.familymedallion.com
Want to book a wedding with me? Call me now at 716-998-8406 or send me an email. I look forward to working with you!
This ceremony symbolizes the joining of two separate lives as one.
____________ and __________will now symbolize their union with a sand ceremony.
_____________ and ____________, today you join your separate lives together. These two separate bottles of sand sybolize your separate lives, separate families and separate groups of friends. They represent all that you are and will ever be as individuals.
They also represent your lives before today. Just as these grains of sand can never be separated and poured again into indiviual containers, so shall your marriage be, for the two of you are now joined as one. You will each remain individuals with your own uniqueness, but equally important is the reality that you no longer live for yourselves alone, but for each other as well.
Note: vials for the sand ceremony may be purchased from this website: www.sandceremonyset.com
Another ceremony symbolizing the closure of your previous lives and the new beginning of your life together as one.
Today __________ and _____________ have sealed their marriage with their vows to one another, and the exchange of rings, and this covenanat is a pledge between them that they agree to commit themselves to one another throughout their lives. Now they exchange another vow to one another repsented by wine:
In these glasses are the fruits of God, humankind, and mother earth. The years of your lives are like a cup of wine that is poured out for the sake of labor, honor and love. Many days you will sit at the same table and eat and drink together. Many are the experiences you will share. As with a glass of wine, one of you may find it sweet, the other perhaps dry, or somehow different. Let the drink you share today serve as a reminder that although you may perceive things very differently, being right is never more important than being happy. With this space that you give each other, always putting your commitment to love and honor one another first, your love for each other will grow deeper, richer and greatly satisfying like a rare and fine wine.
One glass represent you, _____________, and all that you are, and all that you will have ever been.
The other glass represents you, ________, and all that you are, and all that you have ever been. As you pour these two streams of wine together, they can never be separated and poured into their individual glasses again, for they are blended as one. So shall your marriage be. You no longer live for yourselves alone, but for each other as well. You may now drink from this fountain of love.
Note: supplies needed for this ceremony are a small bottle of red wine and a small bottle of white wine and two wine glasses. Bride and groom each blend the white and red wines together in each glass.
THE TREE CHARM CEREMONY
EACH WEDDING CEREMONY INTRODUCES SYMBOLS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL TO THE COUPLE. YOU HAVE CHOSEN RINGS TO SIGNIFY THE UNENDING LOVE YOU ARE PLEDGING TO EACH OHER. BUT YOU HAVE ALSO CHOSEN THE TREE TO SYMBOLIZE THE FAMILY YOU ARE NOW CREATING. THE TREE IS THE UNIVERSAL SYMBOL FOR FAMILY. YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS THE STRONG AND ENDURING TRUNK FROM WHICH YOUR CHILDREN BRANCH INTO UNIQUE PARTS OF THE TREE, AND FROM WHICH THEIR OWN FAMILIES WILL ONE DAY BLOSSOM.
CHILDREN, WHEN YOU LOOK AT TREES, YOU WILL NOTICE THAT THEY ARE ALL DIFFERENT. THEY ARE DIFFERENT COLORS, SHAPES AND SIZES WITH DIFFERENT LEAVES THAT BLOSSOM AND BEAR DIFFERENT FRUIT. EACH FAMILY IS ALSO UNIQUE. THEY LOOK DIFFERENT. THEY SHARE DIFFERENT VALUES, CREATE THEIR OWN TRADITIONS, LAUGH AT INSIDE JOKES AND PRODUCE THEIR OWN MEMORIES. TREES AND FAMILIES BOTH EXPERIENCE STORMS, AND TREES REMIND US TO STAY ROOTED IN WHO WE ARE WHILE WE ARE REACHING FOR THE STARS.
YOUR PARENTS WOULD LIKE TO GIVE EACH OF YOU A TREE CHARM THAT YOU WILL SHARE AS A FAMILY. LET IT SERVE AS A REMINDER OF THE LOVE, SUPPORT AND PROTECTION THAT EACH OF YOU WILL GIVE AND RECEIVE FROM YOUR FOREVER FAMILY.
These are the rings that you will wear for the rest of your
lives, which express your love for each other. Let us take
a moment and send our prayers, our thoughts and our love
to these rings, so that as you wear them, they will carry the
love of this ceremony with them.
Let us pray:
We bless these rings as symbols of eternity and forgive-
ness: A reminder that love is never ending, and can be
renewed at any time and place of your choosing. May
these rings grace your loving hands. May you ever live in
harmony, unity, love and joy as you wear them. Amen.
A Tree Ceremony composed by Rebecca Lippner with Excerpts from “Thoughts in a Garden”
I would like to invite the parents of Bride and Groom, (Names) to join Bride and Groom, as I point out the trees you see before you today. Each tree is a gift from Bride and Groom’s individual families, brought to represent their joining as one. They symbolize Groom and Bride’s individual roots, and the new life that will now grow from their unity. Tomorrow, Groom and Bride will plant these trees at their home as they cultivate the start of a long life together in marriage.”
“Bride and Groom, we are with you to celebrate your relationship as it is, and as it is yet to be, and in doing so, we ask only that you remember how your life together will have the same seasons and needs as these trees. There will be growth like spring and loss like fall; there will be giving as the blossoming flower, and rest as the seed beneath the snow. All the seasons will be yours, but remember too, that these trees and the garden in which they will grow, are not just happenings. The more wonderful the garden, the more skilled the gardener.
So you will have to care deeply for the life that is yours together, and nurture it. you will have to appreciate your differences and cultivate them. You will have to take care of yourselves, if for no other reason than out of love for the other. And you will need the support of family and friends to reach full growth. As you caringly chose these trees in front of which to declare your marriage, so remember their lesson for your life together through the seasons that are yours to share. And may those seasons bring you and yours much joy and happiness.”
UNITY OR BIUNIAL CANDLE CEREMONY – Another way of symbolizing the two becoming one. Please note: The biunial candles may be purchased direct from Reverend Olson. Candles are available in white or ivory.
________________and ________________, with your vows you have now joined your separaate lives together. A true spiritual marriage is an act of metamorphosis, a profound mystery of creation and rebirth, as two become one. It is not a giving up or loss of oneself, but rather a giving over of oneself to something greater – a transformation of self in which each one can say, “I am no longer only I, but also we.
Your wedding ceremony is the gateway into this mystery, for the lives that the two of you have lived up until this moment are, in some sense, now truly complete and over. To symbolize this union, I invite you to each light one of the candles before you.
And now please move the candles together.
Together you now live within the creation of something wholly new and transcendent something which has never existed before. In this act of marriage, you open yourselves to a fuller experience and expression of the great vast miracle of love.
Note: This ceremony is excerpted from a wedding ceremony composed by Lisa Trevino.